I got a new number, one that my ex can use to call our son. I can keep better track of his calls since at least weekly he says he calls and doesn’t. I end up wading through my phone bill, to see if he did or not. I got one number just for my ex to call our son. I also set up Skype so my son and ex can talk on the computer. They were doing Face-Time, but I am not thrilled with giving my 5 year-old my phone. Honestly, better all around if my son has his own number. That takes me out of their relationship. I sent my ex the info. on the the new number and the Skype account. This is what he sent me:
I received your email regarding the contact info and understand the change in number for phone calls. However, our times, days and mode of communication will not change. According to the court mandated agreement, Monday and Wednesday at 7pm and Sunday at 930am, I am to FaceTime with my son. If you or I are not able to make the call, texting will be sufficient, also mandated by the court, since while I am at work I do not have access to email.
This is no longer your decision to make or mandate policy. The court has already determined and mandated this process. I will not revisit this issue again and do consider it closed.
A few things: we have no court order about days, times and ‘mode of communication’. We had discussed phone calls in mediation, but J.D went bat shit crazy when I tried to get him to agree to regular times. According to him he should be able to call whenever. “I can call and she can get my son.” The mediator got us to agree to some times, but at the conclusion of the conversation, J.D got pissed and hung up. So everything in mediation was considered void. He has since asked to to speak Jude 3 times each week for the last week, but at least once a week he doesn’t call. The other day Jude and I were waiting for J.D. call. We sat by the phone from 9-10am. The appointed call time was 9am. Finally I told Jude it looks like J.D isn’t calling. On Monday when Jude talked to J.D he asked him why he had not called on Sunday. J.D said, “Oh I called! I always call. If your mom says I don’t call, I do.” I frantically checked my phone log, thinking I was crazy and had missed something. To avoid that Jude has his own Skype and a phone number dedicated to his call with Jude. Hopefully that will make this some easier.
J.D never really asks if he can call, just says, I’m calling have ‘my’s on on the phone. J.D’s response borders on crazy. His words pissed me off. How dare he just tell me what I am going to do. No consideration for what is easier for Jude, he has been an absent parent for 5 years, never once apologized for what he did, simply blamed me. Now he wants to dictate things that concern Jude, a child that hasn’t seen his father in over a year. He demands and threatens, I can’t have a conversation with him. He hates me more than he loves our son.
I honestly wish he could get help for his issues, take some parenting classes, accept his part in all of this and sit down with and a third party and talk to me. That would require maturity and honesty, something he lacks.