The Dirty Topic of Child Support

Child support, such a difficult issue in divorce. I have heard the stories of men (some women) paying high amounts of child support and being unable to pay their bills due to their child support. I have heard of  woman (again some men) that are using child support to get their hair and nails done while their children go without.

Neither stories reflect my  experience.

I was a child of divorce. My father paid $300 a month in child support for my sister and I, despite making $60,000 a year. When my sister or I asked him to buy us something his response was often, “ask your mother she has all my money.” My mother worked two jobs to pay the bills. Often dinner consisted of baked beans and bread for several nights in a row. She would often skip meals to make sure that my sister and I had something to eat.  I remember my father telling me that my mother should give me my half of the child support. I was, as he put it, entitled to that money and should be able to  (at age 7) spend it as I see fit. When I dared to ask my other for my $150, I was given a pretty honest look at what it cost to take care of me. Way more than $150 I learned.

In my current situation I am given child support based on J.D’s income of $70,000 a year.  He pays $750 a month, the minimum for his income. Considering I am raising Jude on my own, 100% of the time, I don’t really see it as fair. Last year he purchased a house for $420,000. I can’t even imagine what those payments are like.  He pays child support only because the state garnishes his wages. He skipped out on paying for 2 months. Since he is in the Navy it wasn’t hard for the state to begin garnishing. I hate that I depend on that money each month. I wish I didn’t need it. I know that there are families in situations that are worse than mine. I have read the stories of fathers (and some mothers) failing to provide any support for their child. I don’t get that, it wasn’t one person making that baby. It shouldn’t be just one person providing all the support.

I want Jude to have experiences that I didn’t have as a child, but those things cost and it is difficult for me to provide him those experiences.

 

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