Awesome Dad

I want to be fair to my ex-husband, I really do, but I am pissed. I am pissed that after 5 years he suddenly wants to be a Dad and yet denies he did nothing wrong. He maintains he was and is a great Dad. He has told me at every opportunity that he is an ‘awesome Dad.’  An awesome Dad that started an affair with a 20 year old when he was 32, when his wife (me) was 6 months pregnant, an awesome Dad who moved his son and wife to San Diego and then dropped a bomb in their lives (Um gee honey, I am having an affair and can you leave with our son?). An awesome Dad that visited his son 4 times in 5 years and has never once  been alone with his son for more than 3 hours or spent any time caring for him. Read him a story? How about a bath? Dinner cooked and fed? Nope he’s done of that!

I want to be happy for my son that maybe there is some chance J.D will get his act together and actually be a Dad, but I just don’t see it. We aren’t on the same page or even in the same book about anything.  My son asked J.D where his Christmas and Birthday presents were. J.D had the nerve to say, “Ask your mom.” My son looked at me and said, “I’m supposed to ask you where my presents are.” I said I had no idea where the presents are. I then said to J.D did you even send presents? He replied with, “Son there are two sides to every story and sadly you are only getting hers.” What does that mean? Did he send Christmas presents or not? He’s never sent anything, but child support for the last 5 years and that had to be garnished from his pay.

I hate this, hate that my ex and I can’t have a conversation. I asked him to attend counseling with me, via Skype for him, so we can see each others sides and maybe learn to communicate. I would love for us to have an open conversation, but he blames me for everything. He has no relationship with our son, my fault! He can’t pay his bills, my fault. His lawn got stolen, my fault.  Is it too much to ask for normal???

2 thoughts on “Awesome Dad

  1. I went through similar struggles and I found it took up too much of my energy and my valuable time to worry. Instead, I focused on what mattered. My future and my children’s future. They were 4&6 at the time now 13&16. I will say, you don’t have to give explanations. The truth is hard, but it does come to light. I am not perfect, I struggle but I am the parent that has always been there and that will answer for everything.

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